Concerning Discerning

View from my window that helped inspire the poem below Grey clouds, clouded mind   Waking up, yet not alive  Full of the unfinished   Not possibility   Trying to think   Yet struggling to see  Wet roads, damp soul  Forgetting the good, holding the cold  Come so far   But so far to go  Capable of greatness  But stuck in the low    Warm room, safe space  Place of rest, change of pace  Clinging to You  But running free  That’s where I  Long to be  Clouded mind, open heart  Damp soul, still a spark  Warm room  Safe space  Till I see You  Face to face. It’s interesting that in my confusion and brokenness and imperfection, I can still be such a powerful force for the good. Even in my battle with the bad, with negativity, with greyness, I can still be on the path to greatness.   I long for perfection and control, but those moments where ever...

It’s been a season of growth and healing.   I haven’t posted much lately because my discernment seemed to have hit a brick wall (although that doesn’t mean I ever stopped discerning). I was so certain of what the future held, and then all of a sudden, I wasn’t anymore. It was confusing! It hurt, it led me on a bit of a downward spiral.    Yet there’s been so much bought to light because of this season. I’ve learned to trust without seeing the whole picture. Love regardless of reciprocation. Surrender even though I like being in control. I’ve learned that no season is ever wasted and God truly does know what He’s doing (although this is something I guess I’ll just have to keep learning over and over again!).   I don’t know who’s subscribed to my blog yet, or who will see this post! But here’s an honest update on the last few months. (N ote: the majority of this blog post is a mash-up of brain dumps I had intended to publish back in May but never got round to...

 In a recent reading of the day, St Paul writes (2 Corinthians 12):   “…a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.”  I’ve been getting very caught up with a ‘thorn in my flesh’ lately. While the above image is a little uncomfortable, it illustrates this point well!  St Paul boasts of his weaknesses, so here’s one of mine:  I am a perfectionist. I like to have everything worked out well in advance, and achieved to the very best possible standard. I like knowing what’s coming up and how I can prepare for it so I can remain in control.   That’s a bit of an issue when you have a God who isn’t a fan of comfort zones and likes chucking us in the deep end! I know He'd never give us more than we can handle, and being challenged simply makes us rely on him even more, which I’m grateful for. I would definitely not be the person I am today without the Lords promptings to do crazy new things! But whe...