Vocation Vacation 🚌

For a few months now I've been sitting with a dream, a deep desire I have for the year ahead. And after much prayer & discernment, I'm finally at the point where I can share it with the world!

Before I share though...I wrote this back in September as I sat watching the sunset, really wrestling with my big dream:

How to articulate my heart's desire? 

It's like trying to photograph the sunset

Nothing could ever do it justice.

I know the thing that sets my soul on fire

That lets me soar carefree like a bird

Yet why am I so afraid to choose it?

If I trust in the Painter of the sunsets, 

The Planter of my desires,

Giver of good things,

Why do I fear? What do I fear?

I fear the greatness my yes gives way to.

I fear letting go of what I thought would be.

I fear the uncertainty I'd be stepping into.

What if I'm wrong? What if this isn't my heart's desire?

What if I miss what I'm truly made for because I've looked away?

Oh, but what if I followed what sets my soul on fire?

Think of the beauty, the freedom, the life!

How can I ever set the world on fire 

If I don't start listening to the fire in me?

Oh how to articulate my hearts desire?

What is this desire, this dream? 

One of the first things I had to face when I began seriously discerning Religious Life (surprise if you didn't know already!!) was where to look in New Zealand - or if I should even bother starting here. No offence to any Religious Sisters, but growing up in NZ I never saw Religious Life portrayed very attractively. I think a big part of that was the movement from wearing habits to plain clothes, so even if I did bump into a Sister, I would never have known! And there's also the elephant in the room - the fact that the majority of our Religious Sisters in NZ are getting on in years. When the thought of Religious Life popped into my heart back in 2018, those were some of the first things to come to mind - where in NZ would I even go? And as I explored more, why would I join any order here when they are all growing old?

The more I've talked with other young kiwi women who are also discerning, the more I've realised that I am not alone in these assumptions. Someone I know who is just starting out on this journey is already pretty set on overseas, as she doesn't feel there's anything for her here in NZ. And maybe she's right - but it got me thinking, if she's never really looked (and I can understand why she hasn't), how could she possibly know? 

The more I've talked with Religious Sisters in NZ, the more I've realised that age shouldn't deter us from their way of life - after all, we're not discerning a bunch of people, but a Vocation, a way to live out our call to love (CCC2392). Every single Sister I've met is so joyful and content and living life to the full. And the more I've researched, the more Religious Orders I have discovered in NZ - way more than I first thought existed!

So...I have a dream. I dream of dedicating a year to travelling around NZ in a campervan and visiting as many [female] Religious Orders as possible, getting a taste for what their life is like. I dream of compiling everything into a website, so young women who are discerning no longer have to do hours of research to discover what's out there but can simply go to this website, click a location on a map and get an overview of what exists and who to contact. While this seems like a mammoth task, dreaming and exploring and talking about it has given me so much life! I am very excited for what next year holds. 

My overall mission is to raise the profile of Catholic Religious Orders in NZ, helping young people know that Religious Life is an option, it is attractive, and it does exist in NZ! 

What 'sets my soul on fire' is the thought of the good that could come out of this; the way this would not only benefit my own discernment but could encourage so many others. And not gonna lie, I'm also excited to travel around in a tiny campervan home for a year 😅.

If you've followed along through the rest of my blog so far, don't worry - I am not abandoning the idea of joining the Missionaries of  God's Love. I am open to whatever the year ahead may hold, but I can't deny that I still feel very drawn to the MGL way of life. In travelling NZ my goal is not necessarily to find a New Zealand order for me, but rather I see this as an opportunity to strengthen the Vocation I feel called to, and at the same time encourage others in their own journey. 

So...WATCH THIS SPACE!

There are many hurdles ahead - for one thing, I know nothing about designing and running my own website. I'm not a fan of phone calls but now have to make many calls to Religious Orders all over NZ. And of course, there's the big hurdle of finding a campervan...

Please pray for me - I'm gonna need it! 🙏🙏🙏 And keep an eye out for a dedicated website and sponsorship details to come!

P.S. If you know of anyone who might be willing to sell or loan me a small campervan for a year, get in touch!