Concerning Discerning

A young person's perspective on the Eucharist (Originally published in the July 2022 issue of the Marist Messenger magazine) Recently my nine-year-old brother, who is struggling with being bored with Mass, told me that He keeps asking God to show Him He is real but isn’t getting any response. I asked him, “How do you know the wind is real?” and his reply was “because you can feel it and see it moving things.” Then I asked, “and how do you know love is real?” “Because you can feel it and see its effect on other people.” I finished our conversation by explaining that just because you can’t see or hear God, doesn’t mean He isn’t real. One way we can know His reality is through the way He moves and works through those around us. We are physical beings. We like to be able to see, touch, feel, and hear the evidence for the existence of our God. Yet as Christians, we are ultimately called to have faith, which Hebrews 11 describes as “...the assurance of things hoped for, the convictio...

My discernment journey has taken a big leap, and I am currently in Australia, doing a 'come and see' with the Missionaries of God's Love Sisters for a whole month! I've been trying to get here for nearly three years now, but Covid made it impossible. There was the potential to be upset or lose hope, but despite multiple canceled flights and closed borders, I felt completely at peace. A few weeks ago, my dad burst into my room along with the announcement that the borders were opening again and travel could be quarantine free. He suggested I could visit the MGL's sooner rather than later. Little did I know when he said soon, God meant in two weeks time!  Doors opened smoothly and despite a covid case and isolation as a household for ten days, a strong desire to hurry up already and be with the MGL's steadily grew, and I knew this was finally the timing God had in mind. The moment we were out of isolation, I contacted one of the Sisters, and three days later (very ...

"You can't just seek God for what He can do for you. You have to seek Him for who He is." ( Dream Wild , Jennifer LeClaire) This blog post was originally published by Evangelion, a movement with a mission of evangelising New Zealand. Check it out here:  https://www.evangelion.co.nz/   Be honest; how much of your time with God is taken up by whining, questioning, petitioning, and/or asking for help for yourself or for those around you?  Looking back through my prayer journal over one week in February, I counted that I asked God for help a grand total of eleven times, and I thanked Him only twice. Sometimes God must think we act like needy little children, demanding everything, asking millions of 'but why's?' and throwing a little tantrum whenever we don't get what we want.  And yes, in a way that's not always a bad thing! Jesus says we should be like little children (Mt 18:1-5). God loves that we converse with Him, and feel comfortable bringing Him all ...

Why is it that being on the brink of greatness is such an invitation for sudden darkness? Why is it that excitement for the future seems to steal the joy in the now? How is it that I am meant to stay grounded while dreams are set in motion? How do I make the most of now when it's so empty compared to what I know will be? When is it that I will step off this precipice and soar into new beginnings? When will the pinprick light win out against the shadows of doubt and fear? What is it that compels me to still hope when worldliness overwhelms me? Or rather Who is it? But Love Himself who meets me right here.  (Poem from my prayer journal, 24th October) Have you ever made a decision which you know will lead to great things, and then all of sudden it seems like the whole universe is conspiring against you? That's been the past couple of weeks for me since I announced my plans for next year! Never have I experienced such stress, exhaustion and anxiety. Not even about the future - but ...

For a few months now I've been sitting with a dream, a deep desire I have for the year ahead. And after much prayer & discernment, I'm finally at the point where I can share it with the world! Before I share though...I wrote this back in September as I sat watching the sunset, really wrestling with my big dream: How to articulate my heart's desire?  It's like trying to photograph the sunset Nothing could ever do it justice. I know the thing that sets my soul on fire That lets me soar carefree like a bird Yet why am I so afraid to choose it? If I trust in the Painter of the sunsets,  The Planter of my desires, Giver of good things, Why do I fear? What do I fear? I fear the greatness my yes gives way to. I fear letting go of what I thought would be. I fear the uncertainty I'd be stepping into. What if I'm wrong? What if this isn't my heart's desire? What if I miss what I'm truly made for because I've looked away? Oh, but what if I followed what...

This blog post was originally published by Evangelion, a new movement with a mission of evangelising New Zealand. Check it out here:  https://www.evangelion.co.nz/ You wouldn’t buy a phone without also investing in a phone charger, right? Without the charger, the phone is pointless. It might work for a couple of days, but once it’s out of battery, that’s it! Similarly, we humans need a power source, we need to charge our batteries too. This world is so draining, with all its expectations, demands, busyness and labels. I think we’ve all at some point in our lives felt drained, like we have nothing left to give. Like we’re on a hamster wheel and can’t seem to jump off. I was speaking to a friend the other day who said she felt like she’d lost her purpose, like she wasn’t moving forward anymore but stuck in the same repetitive cycle. What gives us life? What is our power source, what keeps us charged up and living life to the full? We all want to have life to the full. Not such a full...

Stuck inside during Level 4 lockdown again, looking for things to do... So, hello again!  I should be in Australia, staying with the MGL sisters right now. But nope, borders were closed and flights were cancelled.  Plan B - I should be finishing up an SFC retreat weekend at Forest Lakes and getting ready to head to Tyburn Monastery, Ngakuru for an entire week of quiet prayer and reflection. But nope, Delta escaped and we went into a Level 4 lockdown last week.  I should be at a Discernment Retreat in Featherston next weekend, but nope, even if we're out of lockdown by then, it has been canceled.  Mainly just putting this here so in future I can look back and remember how crazy these times were! I should be stressed out about the future, having finally set things in motion, (even booking flights to Australia!) only to have all my plans dashed. I should be panicking! But nope. Throughout this whole time, I have felt so deeply rooted in peace.  I have to say, this ...